I Eat The Elf (A Holiday Table)

*gags*

North Pole Elf
AC 13(+1 DEX), Move 120′, HD 1, HP 1, Pinch Cheeks 1d4, Morale 10.
Special:
Elf Tricks; A North Pole Elf can use their dirty elf magic(psionics) to perform various minor parlor tricks.

After crash landing in the North Pole over 200 years ago, the REDACTED were on the verge of death when Santa Claus found them and brought them back to the Claus Estate to recuperate. The REDACTED were forever grateful and vowed to repay Santa by working in his toy factory. They now call themselves the Elfs as their native name is unpronounceable without 2 tongues and a squeedlyspooch. There are currently 33 "elfs" at the Claus Estate.

So, I hate elves. I just don't think their cool or interesting or anything. They suck. And so with my hatred of Elves/Elfs, I present what happens when you consume a North Pole Elf! Happy Holidays!

I EAT THE ELF
As you swallow/snort/smoke/inject/etc the elf you feel a warmth flow throughout your body and...

1. You explode into a fine red mist that blows away in the wind. Yes, you just died. Fuck elfs am I right?
2. The Elf's DNA sequences itself onto your pathetic human strands. You slowly and painfully become a elf (with the above stats) over the course of 1d6+1 days. You retain the memories of your human life.
3. Your brain grows to twice its size. Your skull and neck muscles also grow to house the weight. Your INT becomes 18 or 20 if it was already 18. 
4. You gain a random psionic power, pull out that Dark Sun book. 
5. All your teeth fall out and are replaced by hair like bristles like a baleen whale.
6. You glow in the dark at night, with all the penalties/bonuses that come with that.
7. Your left hand painfully becomes a weird skin claw thing. You do gain a 1d4 pinch attack, that's kinda cool?
8. You become immune to all human diseases thanks to the elf's super immune system. The downside is you have to orally expel all the bile build up randomly every 1d4 days. The vomiting takes a turn. 
9. You no longer age thanks to the elf's ability to repair decayed DNA. However after 100 years you explode into a fine red mist. Why? Because fuck elfs that's why. 
10. You gain a squeedlyspooch, idk what it does but you have it. 

The Thing Under The Bed (Halloween Monster)

The Thing Under The Bed 
Armor 14, Move 120′, HD 3, HP 15, Psychic Attack 1d8, Morale 10. Special: Dragged Under
Save vs Paralyzation or be dragged under the bed. See Description.

*This monster only pops up on your random encounter tables during October.

Next time one of your characters(lowest CHA or the player who's the most cautious) tries to cuddle up in bed (favorite inn, property, etc) alone they will get an overwhelming feeling that something is under the bed. If the character gets out of bed, nothing stops them. If they check under the bed, nothings there. If they leave the room nothing happens and the encounters ends. BUT if they ignore that strange feeling and try to go to sleep then The Thing Under The Bed will pay a visit. 
The Thing will wait until the character is fast asleep to strike (Save vs. Paralyzation at -2) and try to drag the character under the bed with supernatural strength. If the character failed their save they are dragged under the bed. If they succeed they manage to fend off the attacker and may roll initiative.

Under the Bed

Characters who are successfully dragged under the bed are pitched into a cold desert-like plane of existence shrouded in total darkness. This realm is the Thing's digestive system and if feeds on fear and misery. The character is stuck here for 1d6+1 days. If the character survives the starvation and dehydration checks then they are spit out from under the bed unharmed save for being exhausted, starving and dehydrated X turns later where X is the number of days spent under the bed.

The Thing Under The Bed takes the form of whatever the character's player's worst nightmare is. That means doing some homework on your players.If the Thing fails it's morale check it will attempt to flee under the bed. If successful it disappears never to be seen again, or will it?
Happy Spooktober!

Blog Update:
Still working on that zine. Turns out decent writing is hella time consuming. lol

Sobek's Children//Werecrocs

Lycanthropy-Werecrocodile

One of the greatest blessings bestowed by the god Sobek is the ability to change into a human-crocodile hybrid, a werecrocodile. This strain of lycanthropy is only found in Egypt due to the transformation’s dependence on the Nile river. An unusual strain since the ability is not passed by the usual vector, a bite, but is passdowned hereditarily. Scribes believe this restriction may be connected to Sobek’s association with fertility, others say it was done to prevent enemies from contracting the strain. Werecrocodiles do not undergo their first transformation until after puberty is reached and only during Akhet, the Season of Inundation when the nile floods, which happens from June to September. As per my generic lycanthropy rules I’ll be using LotFP’s RAW disease rules as a base for this strain of lycanthropy.

• Incubation- The incubation time is from birth to the first Akhet after puberty.
• Infection- During Akhet, the Season of Inundation.
• Interval- Whenever human blood is detected. A Save vs. Magic may be made to resist the transformation with a +4 due to Sobek's Blessing.
• Effect- Transform into a werecrocodile(see below). Takes 2 minutes and is excruciatingly painful. Reverting back to human takes a round.

This strain was created to be a combat boon for Sobek's most devout followers and thus is dependent on detecting human blood to transform. Unlike the werewolf, werecrocs are fully in control of themselves until a kill is made, only then does the lure to devour take hold. 

Werecrocodile Stats

Armor 16, Move 120’(Swim speed 160'), 5 Hit Dice, 30hp, 1x Bite 1d12 damage 1x Tail Slap 1d6 damage, Morale 10. Whenever a kill is made a Save vs. Magic must be made to resist wasting a round devouring the corpse. Double damage from Silver Weapons(triggers a immediate morale check when hit, will flee on a fail)

Appearance & Traits

When transformed werecrocs stand over 6 feet tall and have a huge snout and rows of jagged teeth as well as an equally deadly serrated tail. Werecrocs have an excellent sense of smell, especially when it comes to blood. Those infected are able to differentiate the blood types and can even tell which pool or spray belongs to which victim. Any wounds received from non-silver, non-magic weapons while transformed heal at a rate of 1hp per hour.

The Cure

There is no known cure for this strain of Lycanthropy, mostly due to the small number of recorded infected.

Context

If you've been following my blog you'll know I'm planning on running a LotFP game set in 17th century Egypt. One of the bullet points I wanted was for the players to act as one of the many factions running around gathering treasure and macguffins. My players decided on playing as a forgotten cult of Sobek worshipers that are werecrocodiles. Yup.

I've never actually run a "monster" game so I'm interested to see how they handle a little power at the start of the campaign. The goal I gave them is to find a way to revive their dead god Sobek to reign over Egypt like the good old days. Should be pretty interesting. I'll probably come back here and update this strain after I've seen it in action.

Pishtaco, Fat Eater

I remember watching a episode of Supernatural where a pair of fat eating monsters open a very successful weight loss clinic. Only after one of the monsters starts greedily taking too much fat and killing people do they draw the ire of hunters. I really liked that idea and after doing some research it turns out the monsters, called a Pishtaco, is a local legend from the Andes region in South America. If you want the history & lore check out the wiki here. I'm going to be taking the skeleton of the monster and changing it to better suit what I want it to do.

Here’s the stats real quick:

Pishtaco/Fat Eater
Armor 16, Move 60′, 5 Hit Dice, 22hp, Big Nasty Knife 1d8 then Fat Suck, Morale 9. Fat Suck, the victim makes a Save vs Paralyzation, a failure means they're pinned. At the start of each round a pinned character takes 1d6 Constitution damage and the Fat Eater gains that much hp back as a animated intestine erupts from the Pishtaco's stomach and sucks the fat from the knife wound. At the end of the round the pinned character may make another save to escape.

The Pishtaco looks like a morbidly obese person(usually caucasian) dressed in the local fancy attire. It travels in a carriage with a entourage of followers that wants the “healthy” look the Pishtaco has. The Pishtaco travels town to town offering its services to those who can pay.

The Pishtaco Services

• The Pishtaco can transfer fat from one person to another. When the Pishtaco steals the fat from humans it can't digest it completely and it forms a kind of ambergris in the gut. Once enough fat is gathered it can extracted via vomiting or opening up its stomach upon death. The ambergris can be mixed with water or alcohol(masks the horrid taste) to make a high caloric cocktail. Consuming one pound of Pishtaco ambergris adds 25 lbs of weight once digested and adds 1 Point of Constitution to a maximum of 18. 
• Consuming too much ambergris at once usually leads to heart attack. Save Vs Poison or die for each pound consumed more than twice a day. Note:Make sure to add encumbrance to characters who become overweight.
• Additionally the ambergris has an odd curative effect. If made into a poultice and spread onto a wound it will heal faster and not scar. In game terms a PC heals at twice the usual rate. 
• Candles made with Pishtaco Ambergris last twice as long.

1 lb of Pishtaco Amergriss is worth 500sp to the right people or can be bought from the Pishtaco for a service or some fat, just a bit.

The Gambler

"I thrice had a name, twice a face, and once a soul but lost each to myself."

The Lore

The Gambler is an ancient cursed gamer(self-professed King of Games) that wagered it’s identity* against an old god and lost. Now it wanders the globe eternally cursed to lose any sense of self it may regain.

*Identity consists of a person's Name, Appearance, & Soul.

The Gambler's outward appearance varies based on the local fashion at the time. For example if encountered in the default 17th century period LotFP uses it wears a fresh white doublet beneath a pristine buff coat with fashionable trousers and speckless black leather boots(all won from bets). Where skin would be seen are worn bandages with most assuming the Gambler is a leper. A simple wooden mask conceals its featureless face. Beneath the Gambler’s bandages is a mannequin-like body of a sculpted marble human. A strong minty scent wafts off the Gambler due the peppermint it rubs in the cracks of its skin to keeps fairies from collecting a debt it owes. The Gambler speaks in a low almost whispering voice and is well mannered(a bit dull personality wise) but fiercely competitive and will grow frustrated with each loss though never to the point of violence.

Location & Rules

The Gambler is well known in the underground gambling scene and those there will point to its last known location or current one, for a hefty price. The Gambler stays in one place until it gains a few new identities then goes on to quickly lose them attempting to win back its original self to the same god that cursed it. The Gambler can also be found at Vacant Ritual Assembly's Ghoul Market.

When encountered the Gambler will introduce itself as the King of Games and offer to play a game of its choice with a wager. If the players demand to choose the game and/or wager the Gambler will offer to flip a coin for it. If the PCs win, they can choose the game & terms. The Gambler knows how to play all traditional games and will quickly learn new ones once explained. It has a near infinite supply of treasure to wager with though not all on its person.

The games it chooses to play should reflect the time period. The Gambler's current games of choice are Veintiuna(21) & Liar’s Dice which were popular at the time(I also know how to play them!). If you don't want to play a board/card game  or don't have/know any on hand, offer to play these:

1. Staring Contest
2. Arm Wrestle
3. Rock, Paper, Scizzors
4. Thumb War
5. Hangman
6. Charades

If you want to narrate the game and use a dice to determine the outcome have the players roll a d6 and add any relevant modifiers, then have the Gambler roll a d10. Highest number wins.

The buy in for the first game is 100sp(or higher if the players are ballsy) for each player participating. Winner gets the pot. The Gambler will accept and explain essence* in lieu of coin. Once the first game is over the Gambler will offer to play another round with the bet doubled each time. If the player's tire of playing for coin, the Gambler will offer magic items, or valuable information. The Gambler WANTS/NEEDS identities, its desperate to get its old self back and become human again.

*See Vacant Ritual Assembly #1 for Essence.

Any coin/treasure won from the Gambler counts as XP once the encounter is over. This should keep the PCs coming back for more punishment. If the PCs rack up a debt and cannot pay immediately(no talking their way out of this one) the Gambler will nonchalantly offer to erase it in exchange for their identity. If asked what that entails, the Gambler just says “It shan't be missed”. If they refuse to pay up then the Gambler will forcibly take it by removing its mask and sucking their identity through a small hole where its mouth should be. An eerie whistling sound is heard when this transpires. Should the PCs turn to violence, the Gambler will defend itself with rapier & pistol, & Identity Theft if the requirements are met. See stats below.

The Gambler, 8 HD(30HP)
AC 18(Marble Body) Movement as Human
Save as Fighter = to HD
Morale 10
2x Attacks: 1x Rapier Attack & 1x Pistol Attack(has 4 loaded hidden in Buffcoat)
OR
Identity Theft: (Once per round)
If the target/character owes any form of debt to anyone, the Gambler may suck out their identity. No save.
Losing your Identity:

• All your Ability Scores become 10.
• Everyone forgets you existed(except you & the Gambler).
• Your body becomes featureless & mannequin-like.
• Pacifism: you lose your fighting spirit & flee this battle. Save vs Magic each new combat to avoid fleeing. 

Gambler's Loot:
3d6 x 500sp, 1d4-1 Minor Magic Items*, 1d4 worth of identities it can burn Essence with.
*I really liked Bernie the Flumph's Ghoul Market Items, so I would use those for the Minor Items.

*Me when I introduce the Gambler.

Notes

• Defeating the Gambler causes all currently held identities(1d4) to return to their owners. This also pisses it off.
• The Gambler is cursed to gather identities eternally and thus will respawn 1d4 weeks in a corpse buried in a shallow grave closest to where it died. It regains its marble body and will track down the PCs for a “final game”, death.
• If the PCs encounter the Gambler a couple of times & pay their debts without hostility, the Gambler will offer to trade identities from its current stock as a show of goodwill. Doing this allows the PCs to trade their current identities for a new one. This entails a new Name, Appearance, and Soul(Reroll all Ability Scores).
• Becoming besties with the Gambler gives them its backstory & info on the god of Gambling that cursed it. Perhaps a Quest to aid the Gambler in regaining its identity?

Let me know if you use this thing and how it goes!

Black Dogs

Recently I started brainstorming some ideas for a new LotFP campaign. I asked my players if they'd rather start in 17th Colonial America or England and they chose the later. Which means, I need new monsters for my random encounter tables. Time to dive back into old world folklore starting with the Black Dogs of the British Isles.


Lore
The lore of Black Dogs goes back centuries, making them a perfect monster for the default 17th century LotFP setting. I did some research on Black Dogs and here's what I got. The lore claims Black dogs tend to be either spirits or demonic in nature. They roam the vast moors of England chasing down those unfortunate enough to travel at night. A few stories even tell of  benevolent hounds haunting cemeteries(perhaps guarding some treasure or the dead?)and churches. The lore even suggests the beasts sometimes guide lost travellers back to the road. We'll factor those in when we make our table but I want our dogs to fall more on the malevolent side, this is Lamentations after all. As for visual descriptions of the dogs, eye witness accounts say the beasts have thick black fur and deep glowing red eyes. One story (the Yeth Hound) describes the dog as headless and mimicking the sounds of a crying child. Creepy stuff. We want our Black Dogs to be a little weird too so we'll be adding our own visuals to the lore. As for other abilities Black Dogs possess they are supposed shapeshifters and use this ability to lure victims to their doom. Additionally since the black dogs of legend tend to be spectral we'll steal the ghostly ability to turn invisible. The size of these creature varies but according to the folktales Black Dogs can be as big as a large dog, all the way to the size of a horse. We'll use the creature's size to determine how many Hit Dice it gets.



Locale

I want my Black Dogs to be encountered only at the following places: Cemeteries, Wilderness crossroads, and Plains. Night only.

Whenever our player's characters are traveling through or resting at one of those places,

Roll a d6. On a result of 1, a Black Dog lurks there.

*If any magic-users are present a black dog is encountered on a 1 or 2 roll. This signifies the chaos magic draws to those who tamper with forces best left alone.*

Alright, time to summon the hounds!

Introducing the "OH GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!" Table.

-Roll the stated dice to create a unique Black Dog.-

The Beast stepped forth from the fog. The flickering light from your torch hesitantly crept towards the creature slowly revealing its hideous vestige.

It was the size of...(roll a d6)

1-2, A Dog, (4 HD) and

3-4, A Man, (6 HD) and

5-6, A horse, (8 HD) and

walked on four legs like a hound of hell. Sulfur and rot filled your nostrils as it's coarse black fur shivered at the sight of its prey. It took a slow, creaking step towards you. Oh God! Surely your eyes betray you! It had...(roll a d10)

1. No Head!
2. An old grinning woman's face with dull glowing yellow eyes!
3. A rapid dog's head that drools maggots. Its eyes glow with pulsing white light.
4. A pale woman's face with a lapping snake tongue. It's eyes are glazed over with glaucoma.
5. A dog's head with glowing red eyes. Its maw hangs open and you can see a sickly blue light in the back of it's throat.
6. A skeletal head of a boar. Where it's eyes should be are two huge wriggling bot fly larvae.
7. A dog's head with a single red eye glowing eye at the center of its face, cyclops-like.
8. A fat balding man's head with black coat buttons for eyes. A sword slowly emerges from its gagging mouth before stopping at the hilt.
9. Two heads; one a goat the other a raven.
10. A single large squid eye that seems to steal glances at everything before settling on you.

[Motivation] What does it want?! (d12+d8)


2--A new head! Yours will do...

3--To Feast on your heart!

4--Eyes are tasty...especially Magic-Users'...

5--A Catholic Tongue.

6-7--To drag you to hell!

8-12--//Your violent death!

13-14--Chase you until you get lost.

15--Gold Coins, or Gems. No silver!

16--A story.

17--Help Finding a lost soul.

18--Guard a local cemetery.

19--Help you if your lost.

20--Lead you to a hidden treasure.

As for its stats...

-Black Dog- 
Armor 14, Move 120′, 6 Hit Dice, 27hp, Claw 1d6 & Bite 1d8, Morale 10. The creature may take on the form of a black hound or person it has seen before. The illusion ends when it attacks. The creature may become invisible outside of combat. The invisibility ends when it attacks.