Blog Reboot

How starting over feels...

After the disaster that was 2020 I decided it would be best to start over on a new blog. Wipe the state clean as they say. It'll still be OSR focused but not hyper-so on one system like this one was. Also the URL for this blog was REALLY starting to bother me. Anyways if you like my stuff please follow me over on my new blog down below and add it to your blogroll. Thank you again for your support!

NEW BLOG: BRINEHOUSE, CLICK HERE TO SEE. 

(I'll keep this blog up for those who like it.)

Rogues to Riches Series Finale

This year I played in the greatest longest running LotFP campaign on the internets called Rogues to Riches (RtR). Run by youtuber and amigo Fantastic Dimensions, RtR is one of the best campaigns I've played in and it's bittersweet to see it end. The Referee managed to weave together the best aspects of LotFP with great improv work after dealing with our sickening hijinks. Some of my favorite sessions include: the time the pcs met the dreaded Love Slug *shivers*, when characters all died from horrid explosive diarrhea or that one time my Magic-User sacrificed some orphans to Summon a demon. Classic LotFP. 

If you want to see someone run LotFP the right way with great players, check out Fantastic Dimensions and the Rogues to Riches campaign. Thanks again.

Rogues to Riches Finale

B/X Houserules

Always more house rules lurking.

Everybody house rules B/X. It's like chicken soup, you season to taste. Here's the house rules I'm thinking of using for my budding vanilla fantasy campaign.

GENERAL

1. HIT POINTS--Max at 1st Level.
   
   
2. DEATH--When 0 or Less HP is reached a character may make a save vs death to instead be knocked unconscious for 2d6 turns with 1HP. 
   
   
3. SECOND WIND--Characters may spend a turn immediately after combat to regain 1d3+1 hit points. This represents bandaging, rest, food/water intake, weapon upkeep, etc.
   
   
4. CRITICALS--Max damage is dealt on a natural 20, 1’s are an auto-miss.
   
   
5. AAC-- Ascending AC because descending AC is very meh.
   
   
6. SEARCH CHECKS--May be reattempted but takes another turn.
   
   
7. HELMETS--Grant +1 AC.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLASSES

FIGHTER:

• CLEAVE--Whenever a Fighter eliminates an enemy in melee, they can make another melee attack. If this attack also kills an enemy, they can attack again, and so on.
  
  

• SHIELDS SHALL BE SPLINTERED--The fighter may sacrifice their shield to negate an attack. Make a Save vs Death to succeed, a fail means damage is taken as normal.

CLERIC:

• TURN UNDEAD--Can only be attempted once per combat encounter.
  
  
• SCROLL PRODUCTION-- As seen here.
  
  
• WEAPON RESTRICTION-- based on in-game religion.

MAGIC-USER:

• DETECT MAGIC--Magic-users can spend a turn to detect magic. 2-in-6 chance of success.
  
  
• SCROLL PRODUCTION-- As seen here.
  
  
• STARTING SPELLS-- M-Us begin play with 1x 1st level spell + Read Magic.
  
  
• WEAPON RESTRICTION-- +Crossbow.
  
  

THIEF:

• THIEF SKILLS--Changed to d20 target number as seen here.
  
  

HALFLING

• NAME CHANGE-- Halflings called Rheas in-game. 

I'll update this page as I add or remove rules. 

Blog Retrospective/2021 Goals

Looking back on my blog I feel like I've accomplished very little. Most of my highest viewed posts are Lamentations stuff. And especially now that I'm closing the book on my LotFP fanboying I'm feeling a little, lost? Idk. I'm dead-set on doing the fantasy vanilla campaign but then what? I eventually want to publish something, a zine? adventure book? I'm not sure I have the patience to pour my blood and sweat into something like that. Or the funds. 

I think writing out some simple goals should help point me in a some kind of direction.

Alright here's my current rpg goals for 2021.

• Run a "vanilla" fantasy campaign with weird toppings. 
• Write about said campaign. 
• Write minimum one blog post a month. Ideally one per week.
• Publish something. Very vague but probably for the best.
  

We'll see how it goes. Good luck me.

Why I Quit LotFP

LotFP is great/terrible! But/And...

(Roll 1d20 to finish what people are saying about LotFP today!)

1. raggi is an X.
2. the art is X and makes me Y.
3. I can't support X-ers.
4. D&D sucks.
5. raggi did X. 
6. raggi said Y.
7. fUcK Zak S.
8. someone told me X.
9. nipples scare me.
10. vaginas and/or penises scare me. BONUS, the words vagina and penis scare me.
11. zak S said I sucked one time. (probably multiple times tbh, wat an asshole)
12. raggi said I sucked one time.
13. The social media guy said I sucked one time. (Lies lol)
14. the social media guy is shady AF.
15. Fuck for SATAN?!
16. a rival competitor says they suck and to buy their sucky book(s) instead.
    
17. ZAK SHIT IN SOMETHING THAT ONE TIME!
18. it's just house ruled b/x (no shit).
    
19. they are transphobic, anti-gay, right winged-Trump supporters.
    
20. they suck so buy my book instead!
    

And this is pretty much what I saw almost everyday while free lancing for LotFP. If I wasn't getting paid I would have quit way, way sooner.

If you're unaware I used to free lance as LotFP's social media manager. I was offered the job cause I fanboyed hard on the facebook group. I accepted because I needed the money and it was(is?) my favorite ttrpg game, what could go wrong?  I was only in charge of the official FB page, the FB group, twitter and Instagram. Surprisingly, I think I was decent at it, perfect? Hell no but decent. 

But yeah I was in charge of the social media listed above, ANYTHING ELSE WAS PURELY ME STANING FOR Lamentations. I also somehow managed to claw my way up to admin of the unofficial LotFP discord (unofficial you fucks). Unofficial since Raggi, much like the god of Abraham, abandoned his people to the flood (of nazi scum trolling the server in this case). I immediately demoded Zak cause wtf, who thought that was a good idea and tried casting Raise Dead on the server. Unfortunately the server's spirit decided to stay dead. It still haunts the moors with the occasional wight of Zak s. moaning in the wind. "Cube World, buy my cancelled LotFP stuff"... it says. I did attempt to remove Zak a couple a times but he never really broke any rules so, eh. I may be removing myself from there as well soon.

The last straw however was when Jeff Rients decided to do a LotFP fanzine. A great idea. I submitted my Familiar spell from my blog and was stoked that my writing was accepted by someone cool. When I got my copy I opened it up and fucking Zak was in it. Well, there went any hope of my writing getting seen by anyone outside the LotFP sphere (still love you guys tho). I posted it anyways on the OSR subreddit (with the mods approval/blessing even after I told them Zak was in it). I still got shit on. Never mind all the other people in the zine who were chill, HOW DARE YOU POST ZAK IN HERE. HOW DARE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH THE ZAK-DEVIL. HOW DARE YOU POST LOTFP ON YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT EVEN THOUGH YOUR PERSONAL CONTENT GOT IN A UNOFFICAL FANZINE. Fuck this I thought, I ate an edible walked my dog and came back and trolled the thread high as fuck. No regrets. I told Raggi I was quitting the next day and that I would announce it after his save LotFP sale. I took an almost 6 month break away from writing and social media stuff to survive the fucking pandemic. A welcome break. I announced my departure from LotFP last week. 

Me now.

Other than shit-heads online and their emotional abuse and psychic vampirisms, working for Raggi was pretty ok. He always paid on time, he was never unprofessional and was just a decent guy to work for. Nothing bad to say about him other than he probably made some bad decisions along the way but no one is mistake free. I wish him and LotFP the best in the future and hope he continues to be successful in whatever life brings his way. Also quick thank you to the LotFP sphere for being supportive and generally cool peeps. I will be working on my vanilla fantasy campaign using b/x for the foreseeable future and I may or may not make LotFP homebrew stuff again. 

P.S. I hate dictator Trump (and his cronies) and believe every human being has the right to Food, Water, Shelter, Internet and physical/mental health. But since I like LotFP stuff I'm automatically a right-winger Trump supporter, right? Fuck you.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Pandemic Haul

2020 has been so surreal, terrifying and utterly chaotic BUT the gaming life never ends. If there is no game then there is always planning games.

Here's some of the notable ttrpg books I picked up during lockdown. Dead wood only, I downloaded so many PDFs I don't even remember what I have now. 

OSE

I bought the the Rules Tome version of Old School Essentials over the summer and it was a nightmare to actually get. This was back when Trump was trying to sabotage the election by messing with the post office and mail-in ballots. Naturally getting packages was just as disastrous as it sounds. The package went from the east coast to the west, back to the east coast and then finally to my door in LA. Truly a shit show. Thanks Trump voters.

Not sure I'm happy with the physical quality of the book. As you can see the black is already starting to fade, the bookmarks are fraying and it makes a really weird creaking sound whenever I open it. I swear I've only opened the damn thing like 10 times. I'm regretting not getting the leather one, might hold up better than this one is. Other than that OSE is damn good layout wise. The definitive b/x clone. I'll be using it when I run my vanilla fantasy campaign after the pandemic. 

Castle Xyntillan & Echoes From Fomalhault

After reading A Distant Chime's recap of Castle Xyntillan I was hooked. I immediately went out and bought it and then the shitshow happened with the post office lol. After finally getting my sausage fingers on it I fell in love. The book is the fun house dungeon IMO. It's a masterpiece, if you don't have it buy it now. I ran it over discord for my group and everyone TPK'd, twice. So good. Everything Lux writes is gold.

Fever-Dreaming Marlinko

I love the idea of City States, they just feel like old d&d. So I bought this after doing some research on OSR city adventures. Fever-dream is exactly what it's title implies, a fever dream of city flavor goodness. Everything in here is gameable and I especially like the mechanic where the city erupts into chaos based on the PC's actions. Good stuff. 

AND the LotFP stuff. WARNING if LotFP triggers you close this post now. 

Blood Anthology

The Deck Of Weird Things

Big Puppet

Fermentvm

The Octo-Blade

Ugh if only all ttrpg books could as high quality as LotFP, getting there though check out Neverland. Not gonna go into all the new releases but my favorite of them is Big Puppet. The art by Aeron Alfrey is so good. All in all if you like LotFP stuff you won't be disappointed picking these up.

And yes my Steins;Gate playmat is sweet, I know.

Vanilla Fantasy Campaign with 1d4 Toppings

Enter the campaign

During the COVID-19 Pandemic I've become obsessed with the idea of running a "vanilla" fantasy campaign. The seed was probably planted when I tried and failed to complete the Gygax 75 Challenge earlier this year. Since then I've been reading old b/x focused blogs, old game recaps from the 70s/80s and anything else I could devour. I'm pretty excited to start but I'm gonna have to wait for the pandemic to pass to bring back the ol' home game. 

Here's some stuff I want to see out of this campaign I'm brewing:

• A small homely town my players will get attached too. Then they (I) burn it down.
• A Tent-pole (mega?)Dungeon.
• A vast City-State in the background, maybe at war with another city.
• A revolving roster of different characters as seen in Darkest Dungeons.
• A OD&Desque wilderness. Low populations, vast wilderness, waring strongholds. 
• A homebrew world that comes alive through play. 

Flame Prïncess Cult Issue #1

So, if you're not in the LotFP Facebook group and you like LotFP stuff you should be. It's the most active and chill(no drama) LotFP forum right now and has a lot of cool fan stuff being churned out from it.

For example...

Blogger/Author Jeff Rients is making a FREE 3 issue (for now) Lamentations of the Flame Princess fanzine called Flame Prïncess Cult and Issue #1 is out!

If you want it all you have to do is join the group (or might not even need to join, idk FB is weird) to get a copy. Also you can submit art/writing to Jeff by following the guidelines in the post.

P.S. my Familiar Binding spell got into the zine (pg.11).   :D

The Night Alarm: the Advance!

LotFP Amiable Media

Over on the LotFP FB group author/blogger Jeff Rients made a very cool google doc listing all the blogs/youtubers/podcasts that are openly supportive of LotFP.

If you make or talk about LotPF stuff let me know or head on over to the LotFP FB and let Jeff know and we'll add you to the list!

LotFP GOOGLE DOC HERE

Art by Journeyman1029

GYGAX 75 CHALLENGE: WEEK 2

Continued from here. 

Download the Gygax Challenge here.

Week 2:

So far I'm really enjoying the challenge. Making a setting from scratch really forces me to think outside the box to make things interesting. The world took on a more "prehistoric" feel after I added Ice Age American megafauna to the random encounter table for the Sancana Steppe. I also decided to add enormous deadly tar pits to the map. Since all my players and myself are from LA we all know the stench of tar from the La Brea Tar Pits, a cool touch to to describe the landscape with.

THE TASKS:

1. Get a sheet of hex paper. Draw the following on it, one item per hex (or more if indicated). Name anything worthy of a name.

The tasks also asks you to name multiple settlements and landmarks. I named the bigger city-state Evangelos and the smaller one Cappadocia. There's a small town between named Mun. The forest north of the Zane river is the Blackmagne Forest, south of the river is the Sancana Steppe. I was heavily inspired by the map in the challenge zine so I stole it's style.

CENTRAL LIMURIA 1 Hex=6 miles.

After drawing the map I put it in a plastic sleeve which lets me draw the dungeons and stuff over with a wet-erase marker. This has the dungeon entrance that the task ask you to do. Oh and the "mysterious site" is Devil's Rend, a deep canyon located south of Evangelos. A horrible devil is rumored to reside there.

2.  Extra Credit: Write a Random Encounter Table

The random encounter table was really fun to make and helped the setting take on a prehistoric flavor. Also I managed to write in my hatred of elves by killing them off in an extinction event. Their bones still walk the land though. Also no horses, moa are this world's horses, Final Fantasy chocobo style.

CONCLUSION
I'm getting a little worried about Week 3 since I've never done a "traditional dungeon" but it should be interesting. Also might update this post with random encounter tables for the Blackmagne Forest and the old main road between the cities. All in all a very cool challenge, thanks for reading!

GYGAX 75 CHALLENGE: WEEK 1

Over on the blog Verbum Ex Nihilo, author xmoonxhowlerx is doing the Gygax 75 Challenge (found here). In short the challenge asks you to make a small campaign setting and everything you would need to get a campaign going in 5 weeks. Including a stocked 3-level dungeon, which is hella old school.
I've been wanting to run a "vanilla" fantasy campaign anyway and thought this challenge would be the perfect opportunity to get one rolling.

Note: I assume you downloaded and read the challenge going forward.

WEEK 1: THE CONCEPT

1." Get/Create a notebook:"

Got a really cool leather notebook for my birthday last year, now's the perfect time to use it. 

2. "Develop Your Pitch: Write down 3-7 (no more!) well-crafted bullet points that will “sell” the world to your players."

I'm calling this campaign RE; LAMENT (heh) and will be using the LotFP Rules & Magic for the base rules. I thought about using Necrotic Gnome's Old School Essentials for a more "classic" d&d game but I remembered b/x only gives Magic-Users 1 spell at Level 1. Clerics don't get spells until lvl. 2 and it's possible to have 1HP fighters. Hilarious but also kinda lame. LotFP fits my tastes better anyway.

Onto the pitches!

• Forces of Chaos lie beyond these walls, stay inside and alive! Or, venture beyond them to a world filled with dungeons, monsters, and treasure!
• The City-State of Evangelos is the main "hub", anything outside the City is frontier land with towns and villages dotting the map. A points of light campaign with dungeons galore!
• Humans only, demi-humans were hunted to extinction by the other worldly Dread Emperor.
• Setting is low-magic, but the city is filled with strange modern-esque structures like skyscrapers and sprawling apartments in the "slums".
• Heavy anime/manga vibe.
  
  
  

3."Sources of Inspiration: List them as an annotated bibliography – citing the name, author, etc. and a sentence or two explaining what each source brings to, or supports within the setting"

• JAPANESE D&D RULES ENCYCLOPEDIA ART
  The art is so sweet for this and if I could draw this would be the style this campaign would be drawn in. Just my head canon for the campaign aesthetic. 
• The Legend of Zelda, Majora's Mask.
  This game shaped my lifelong love of weird kinda horror(?) stuff. The surreal tone is something I would love to emulate with some of the frontier towns.
• Berserk(manga) by Kentaro Miura
  The monsters are unique and top-notch, and show how to do monsters right. Also the writing is amazing. I want this campaign's monsters to emulate the ones in Berserk.
• KonoSuba: God's Blessing On This Beautiful World! by Natsume Akatsuki 
  See, I'm not a complete edge-lord (I am however guilty of being a huge weeb). Konosuba is pure comedy and I would love to use classic fantasy tropes as a source of comic relief in this campaign. Also making the BBE an isekai'd character. lol
• Adventure Time
  I love everything about Adventure Time and have good memories of watching new episodes with my son. Hopefully I can pull on some of the players heartstrings just like the show yanked on mine.
• City State Of The Invincible Overlord by Judges Guild
  While it's a little more "high fantasy" than I like, I love how it feels like a real breathing city. Hopefully I can get my city state to be a quarter as good as it.
• Dorohedoro by Q Hayashida More inspiration for the City State. I want my slums district to be similar to The Hole in Dorohedoro. Also the satanic imagery in the manga is just awesome. 

I'll be posting these each week on Sunday until the challenge is complete. Stay tuned next week for Week 2!

WEEK 2 HERE!

eXPerience

The following are some alternative ways I want to try out in my home LotFP game. I already use Session Attendance & Carousing but I want to try the others.

SESSION ATTENDANCE

+500xp
Let’s face it life gets in the way of gaming. If you take the time to come hang out with me I’m gonna give your character a bonus. Simple as that.

MAUSOLEUM FOR THE DAMNED

+100xp per previous dead character (capped at 2nd level)
For each character you’ve had die this campaign your next character gains +100xp for each, up to 2nd level. Better keep track! Idea from Bernie the Flumph.

FUNERAL RITES

+1xp per 1sp spent (see description)
Characters are going to die but all that precious XP needn't go to waste. As long as you have the deceased character’s body (or piece of it) or a memento (the family sword for example) you may hold a funeral for them once you are back at civilization.
Each silver piece spent on the funeral allows you to buy back the deceased character’s XP at 1:1 ratio. The XP can only be bought back during the first funeral, no double dipping. Idea from TenFootPolemic.

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

+50xp x level for each time your HP dropped below 0 or you almost died (Ref discretion). Almost dying changes a person, in this case for the better.

STAY WEIRD

+100xp for surviving an encounter with the Weird or Supernatural (Ref discretion).
This one is heavily dependent on your game. If you’re playing a typical elf or a gonzo themed game then this probably won’t be relevant.. However if you’re playing LotFP using the default 17th century Earth then seeing a monster and living is a big deal. This represents that.

Transylvanian Encounters

HAPPY NEW YEAR ANYONE READING THIS.

I've been neglecting the blog but unfortunately life has once again gotten in the way of gaming. The day job and side job (I freelance for LotFP now btw) have been keeping me very busy as well as the normal stuff at home. My gaming group's holiday hiatus ended and one of my players wants to run 5e for a bit before we go back to me running the ol love LotFP. BUT ANYWAYS I wrote a random encounter table for my future continuation of Transylvania Nights (my discord LotFP campaign). I wrote this because I was heavily inspired by Bernie the Flumph's Bleak European Encounters found here and wanted my own for Transylvania.

Check out the link below and let me know what you think:

Transylvanian Encounters

Magic Missile

Magic Missile, usually the first offensive spell a budding Magic-User adds to their grimoire. There’s a reason for this. Unlike glamors and charms, casting a spell with the intent to cause harm takes an unwell mindset and costs a sliver of humanity.

The Missile's Form

Every Magic Missile is a combination of past traumas, personal biases and environmental stimuli.

Roll a d20 to determine what your missile looks like.
Your chanting ceases and you point your finger at your foe. A glowing light coalesces before taking the form of…

1. Your mother’s severed head, freshly cut and sobbing.
2. A black serpentine creature with a thousand insectoid legs that crawls across air.
3. A single jaundiced eye that frantically looks at its surroundings.
4. A thorned rose stem, sans bud.
5. A human rib riddled with teeth marks.
6. A snarling and barking black dog head with glowing red eyes.
7. A cancerous hunk of flesh with hair and teeth jutting out.
8. A still beating heart that pours out coagulated blood with each slow pump.
9. An arrow carved from charred wood with a rusted iron head.
10. An unnaturally black hole that pulsates in time with your breath.
11. A circular saw fashioned from fish bones.
12. Iron nails twisted together to form a cross.
13. A chain of intertwined wedding rings with a fishing hook at the end.
14. A knife fashioned out of pages torn from the bible.
15. A ball of murky brackish water with a shadowed fish swimming inside.
16. A large iron key with eight fluttering moth wings.
17. An infant sized horsefly with a curled human finger at the end of each of its legs.
18. An amniotic sack with a lamb fetus twitching and squirming inside.
19. An egg made of obsidian with cracks filled with liquid amber.
20. A phallic stone object with a needle at the tip.

Don't’ like the edge? Try these hyper animesque missiles instead. (I’m a huge weeb lol)

1. A clock face with the hands slowly ticking towards midnight.
2. A spiral of cherry blossom petals.
3. A heart made of entwined tree twigs.
4. The spirit of your childhood animal.
5. A spear shaped icicle.
6. A javelin made of white hot fire.
7. A mocking Jack O’ Lantern.
8. A ball of sparkling glitter.
9. A fist made of stone.
10. A cat claw made of gold.

Wake Me When September Ends

Alright I'm going to be taking this month to finally finish writing my LotFP fanzine. So no new articles this month except for Recaps or if I really gotta get something out of my head.

As for the zine I'm gonna be using only Google docs to write it. Them I'm gonna go old school and print, copy and paste that shit together for the layout. lol I may or may not have a print version. I'll probably have one my players do the art for me. But yeah that's whats happening this month.
Finally I'm gonna get this thing done.

Giulia Tofana, Our Lady of Poison, Saint of Widows.

"Husband problems eh, I got just the thing.."

Giulia Tofana a.k.a Tofania was a prolific poisoner who lived during the early to mid 17th century in southern Italy. It's estimated she killed 600 people with her signature poison the "Manna di San Nicola" or Mana of St.Nicholas. This "mana' was a mixture of arsenic, lead, and belladonna. The finished product was odorless, tasteless and easily slipped into the victim's drinks and meals. The poison was also undetectable in the bloodstream during post mortem investigation. Tofanna sold her poison by hiding them in various cosmetic items(make-up powder) and selling them to unhappy wives looking to become happy widows. Unsurprisingly with the way women were treated then, business was good. Eventually Tofana, her daughter Girolama Spera and her followers would be apprehended, tortured and executed for their crimes in 1659. Giulia Tofana's name would live on in infamy and her poison would become known today as Aqua Tofana, named after it's creator.

Tofana screams Lamentations NPC so I stated up her, her daughter, followers and the poison. I took some artistic liberties with their characters since other than the mass killings, not a lot is known,

Giulia Tofana, Armor 13, Move 120′, 2nd Level Specialist, 8 hp, Dagger 1d4 damage , Morale 10. Fancy clothes, case of aqua tofana(12 vials), gold pendant with onyx jewel worth 150sp, 2 silver rings worth 50sp each, 3gp. Charisma 17(+2), Intelligence 14(+1) 4-in-6 Sleight of Hand, 4-in-6 Tinkering, speaks Italian, Sicilian, & Latin.

Goals: 

Help women elevate themselves, live independently, help daughter.

Persona: 

Highly charismatic, quick witted, loves to sell her wares. Will try and bring downtrodden women into her employment.

Appearance:

  Fancy period clothes, tied light brunette hair, olive skin, emerald green eyes. Average height & build.

Secret(s):

Her daughter Girolama was adopted after Giulia killed her real mother. Giulia is sterile.

Girolama Spera, Armor 12, Move 120′, 1st level Specialist, 5 hp, Dagger 1d4 , Morale 9. Fancy clothes, vial of aqua tofana, diamond necklace worth 200sp, 1 gold ring worth 75sp, 1gp. Intelligence 16(+2), 5-in-6 Tinkering, speaks Italian, Sicilian & English.

Goals: 

Perfect the family poison, have children to pass recipe to.

Persona: 

Very intelligent and well spoken would rather focus on her work than socialise. Loves gallows humor though.

Appearance:

  Fancy period clothes, short brown hair, olive skin, earth brown eyes. Short, thicc.

Secret(s):

Knows she's adopted. Doesn't know Giulia killed her real mother though.

Tofana's Followers, Armor 12, Move 120′, 0-level Fighters, 2 hp, Pistol 1d8, Dagger 1d4 damage, Morale 9. Vial of aqua tofana, 1d10sp. Speaks Italian, Sicilian & English

Most of Tofana's Followers are young women who have been lifted out of poverty, unhappy marriages or worse. They are fiercely loyal to both Giulia and her daughter Girolama but at the end of the day are just people, and people make mistakes.

Giulia can be found traveling from town to town in southern Italy selling her "cosmetics" with 1d4+1 followers. Her daughter Girolama stays back at their apothecary in Milan with two assistants brewing the poison and selling various medicines & remedies as a front.

Aqua Tofana, 1 vial costs 25sp and contains 4 doses.

Aqua Tofana is an undetectable poison. The poison kills after 4 doses and is usually administered slowly to mask the poison as a sickness. NPCs do not get saving throws. PCs who pass their saving throws will begin fighting off the poison after 3 days of bed rest. Unless another does is given before then. 4 doses at once is lethal and character must make a Saving Throw vs Poison or die. The cause of death will be obvious.

1st dose Symptoms- Appears as a nasty cold, -1 to all dice rolls.

2nd dose Symptoms- Health decline, cold worsens. -3 to future Poison Saving throws.

3rd dose Symptoms- Bedridden, verge of death. Will fail the next poison saving throw for Aqua Tofana.

4th dose- Death

Conclusion

My sources were this & this. I wrote this up because LotFP needs more mundane stuff to amplify the weirdness. People can be monsters too and some are born from circumstance. Also one my players asked where he could buy some poison.

Kids on Spikes, some words

This is PG-13 LotFP

The whole outrage culture on the internet is getting pretty stale at this point. Some guy posted that the OSR SCENE IS DEAD because of the above art(said guy has since taken down his post for some reason). I just have to ask; If you don't like something why take the time out of your busy life to shit on it? I know it's hard but maybe just move on and make something or if your creatively bankrupt, support those that make something you DO like. There are alot of games out there and not alot of time, enjoy life and kids on spikes.

BTW I like the Kids on Spikes art, I also like Stranger Things. Satire is a thing people.

Death by Bees & Chocolate

I played in a great Blood in the Chocolate one-shot today run by the always cool Getrealroleplaying. The pics above are the character sheets for my boi Medley O'Hare(R.I.P). Medley died deliciously after drowning in a scalding chocolate river running from some bees. Good times, and yes I ate the first weird candy I came across. Gots to.

Draugr & Draculas, BUY IT!

I’m a sucker for DIY stuff, especially zines and especially zines made for LotFP, and guess what I picked up recently? Say hello to Draugr & Draculas, a one-shot zine written by Joshua LH Burnett(BernietheFlumph).

If you want the TL;DR review its good, damn good and you should go out and buy it cause everything in this zine oozes awesomeness.

The Longer, still short review.

I’m not the best at reviews, I prefer to just tell people what I like about things rather than spew a bunch of pointless negatives. SO, I wrote a list of reasons why you should buy this zine instead of a traditional review.

• As the title implies, Draugr & Draculas is vampire themed. Which means if you need a big bad vampire like Dracula this is the zine for you. Burnett even gives us different possible Dracula origin stories, very cool.
• Lore & stats for the undead Draugr as well as a playable Draugr class.
• We get stats, art and a write-up for one of the most prolific female serial killers in history, Elisabeth Bathory. Also a new spell point magic system using blood.
• Dracula’s Castle, complete with a sweet map and loaded with flavor like his three brides and Burnett’s own take on horror icons like the Invisible Man, The Wolfman and more! It's also stacked full of encounters & treasure.
• A new class called the Vampire Hunter who are very reminiscent of the Belmonts from Castlevania series.
• Vampire rules and stats of course.
• The layout is simple and clean and the text is bigger for easy reading. 
• Cool new magic items.
• Want to sell your soul to the devil for power? Draugr & Draculas has you covered.
• A brand new deadly dungeon called the Pagan’s Well. I remember reading Burnett’s recaps regarding the well earlier in the year and I can’t wait to run this one.
• The art, the written material is pretty dark so I like the lighter tone the art gives. Also I grew up watching Cartoon Network during the 90’s. Toons for life.
• It was written with LotFP in mind. As you all know I’m a Lamentations fanboy and I gobble up any homebrew stuff anyone makes. An automatic buy for me.(Also come back to us Joshua, we have milk and cookies.)

Draugr & Draculas is a hell of a fun read, pick a physical copy up before their gone!

You can pick up the PDF here.

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The physical copy here.

Specialist LEVELS UP!

I had fun writing the Fighter level up bonuses and was requested to do one for thieves. Problem is LotFP doesn’t really have a thief class, they have the Specialist which is a build your own class kind of deal. With that in mind I made these Level Up bonuses a bit more generic(and fun) because of that.

-Whenever the Specialist levels up they roll a d12 and consult the table below-

1. Death Proof: Gain a Death Proof token, you may spend this token on the following: If an attack or effect would cause you to have 0 or less HP, you have 1 instead.
2. Slick as an Eel: You have learned of a plant that when eaten makes your sweat especially oily. You can now slip into spaces ½ your size with ease. Must be nude.
3. Devil's Luck: Once per day you may reroll a skill check you failed.
4. Tools of the Trade: You can macgyver a set of Specialist’s tools out of mundane objects, these tools last for 1 skill check then break. Takes 2 hours minus 1 turn per level to find and make the tools.
5. Concealed Item: Choose a minor weapon or small item. You can hide that weapon/item on your person and it will be undetectable during a search. No stealth check needed.
6. Persona: Add 1 to a mental stat(WIS,INT,CHA) of your choice, cannot exceed 18.
7. Harlequin: During downtime you have learned the Jester skill and begin with it at 1-in-6 modified by CHA(cannot fall below 1). A successful check allows you to entertain peeps with various parlor tricks and jokes, you might earn a little coin too…Also allows you gain a favorable reaction and rumors from any clowns you may encounter. Increase skill by 1 each time this is rolled.
8. Heightened Senses: Choose a sense: Sight, Touch, Smell, Sound, or taste. When making a check with that sense, roll twice take the favorable result. May choose a different sense when rolled again.
9. The Fabled Mcguffin: Name a treasure, could be a pirate’s booty, a magic item or a Saint’s relic, etc. You gain a solid lead to the whereabouts of said treasure. Adventure! If rolled again choose a new treasure or gain another insight to the last one. Your choice.
10. Hypnotism: You have learned how to trick people into doing what you want with subtle word play and gestures as per the Suggestion spell. Must roll a Successful Hypnotism Skill Check, starts at 1-in-6 modified by CHA(Cannot fall below 1). Victims get a Save vs Magic. Increase Hypnotism skill by 1 each time this is rolled.
11. Swashbuckler: Add your DEX & STR mods to melee attack rolls & damage.
12. You See Dead People: Literally. You can sense any undead in a 10ft area around you. Increase by 10 ft each time this is rolled. Careful if you can see them, they can see you...

If the character rolls something they already have and it doesn't have a rolled again option, they get number 1 instead.