Saturday, July 25, 2020

Flame Prïncess Cult Issue #1

So, if you're not in the LotFP Facebook group and you like LotFP stuff you should be. It's the most active and chill(no drama) LotFP forum right now and has a lot of cool fan stuff being churned out from it.

For example...

Blogger/Author Jeff Rients is making a FREE 3 issue (for now) Lamentations of the Flame Princess fanzine called Flame Prïncess Cult and Issue #1 is out!

If you want it all you have to do is join the group (or might not even need to join, idk FB is weird) to get a copy. Also you can submit art/writing to Jeff by following the guidelines in the post.

P.S. my Familiar Binding spell got into the zine (pg.11).   :D

The Night Alarm: the Advance!

Sunday, July 19, 2020

LotFP Amiable Media

Over on the LotFP FB group author/blogger Jeff Rients made a very cool google doc listing all the blogs/youtubers/podcasts that are openly supportive of LotFP.

If you make or talk about LotPF stuff let me know or head on over to the LotFP FB and let Jeff know and we'll add you to the list!


Art by Journeyman1029

Sunday, June 14, 2020


Continued from here. 

Download the Gygax Challenge here.

Week 2:

So far I'm really enjoying the challenge. Making a setting from scratch really forces me to think outside the box to make things interesting. The world took on a more "prehistoric" feel after I added Ice Age American megafauna to the random encounter table for the Sancana Steppe. I also decided to add enormous deadly tar pits to the map. Since all my players and myself are from LA we all know the stench of tar from the La Brea Tar Pits, a cool touch to to describe the landscape with.


1. Get a sheet of hex paper. Draw the following on it, one item per hex (or more if indicated). Name anything worthy of a name.

The tasks also asks you to name multiple settlements and landmarks. I named the bigger city-state Evangelos and the smaller one Cappadocia. There's a small town between named Mun. The forest north of the Zane river is the Blackmagne Forest, south of the river is the Sancana Steppe. I was heavily inspired by the map in the challenge zine so I stole it's style.

CENTRAL LIMURIA 1 Hex=6 miles.

After drawing the map I put it in a plastic sleeve which lets me draw the dungeons and stuff over with a wet-erase marker. This has the dungeon entrance that the task ask you to do. Oh and the "mysterious site" is Devil's Rend, a deep canyon located south of Evangelos. A horrible devil is rumored to reside there.

2.  Extra Credit: Write a Random Encounter Table
The random encounter table was really fun to make and helped the setting take on a prehistoric flavor. Also I managed to write in my hatred of elves by killing them off in an extinction event. Their bones still walk the land though. Also no horses, moa are this world's horses, Final Fantasy chocobo style.

I'm getting a little worried about Week 3 since I've never done a "traditional dungeon" but it should be interesting. Also might update this post with random encounter tables for the Blackmagne Forest and the old main road between the cities. All in all a very cool challenge, thanks for reading!

Sunday, June 7, 2020


Over on the blog Verbum Ex Nihilo, author  is doing the Gygax 75 Challenge (found here). In short the challenge asks you to make a small campaign setting and everything you would need to get a campaign going in 5 weeks. Including a stocked 3-level dungeon, which is hella old school.
I've been wanting to run a "vanilla" fantasy campaign anyway and thought this challenge would be the perfect opportunity to get one rolling.

Note: I assume you downloaded and read the challenge going forward.


1." Get/Create a notebook:"

Got a really cool leather notebook for my birthday last year, now's the perfect time to use it. 

2. "Develop Your Pitch: Write down 3-7 (no more!) well-crafted bullet points that will “sell” the world to your players."

I'm calling this campaign RE; LAMENT (heh) and will be using the LotFP Rules & Magic for the base rules. I thought about using Necrotic Gnome's Old School Essentials for a more "classic" d&d game but I remembered b/x only gives Magic-Users 1 spell at Level 1. Clerics don't get spells until lvl. 2 and it's possible to have 1HP fighters. Hilarious but also kinda lame. LotFP fits my tastes better anyway.

Onto the pitches!
  • Forces of Chaos lie beyond these walls, stay inside and alive! Or, venture beyond them to a world filled with dungeons, monsters, and treasure!
  • The City-State of Evangelos is the main "hub", anything outside the City is frontier land with towns and villages dotting the map. A points of light campaign with dungeons galore!
  • Humans only, demi-humans were hunted to extinction by the other worldly Dread Emperor.
  • Setting is low-magic, but the city is filled with strange modern-esque structures like skyscrapers and sprawling apartments in the "slums".
  • Heavy anime/manga vibe.

3."Sources of Inspiration: List them as an annotated bibliography – citing the name, author, etc. and a sentence or two explaining what each source brings to, or supports within the setting"
    The art is so sweet for this and if I could draw this would be the style this campaign would be drawn in. Just my head canon for the campaign aesthetic. 
  • The Legend of Zelda, Majora's Mask.
    This game shaped my lifelong love of weird kinda horror(?) stuff. The surreal tone is something I would love to emulate with some of the frontier towns.
  • Berserk(manga) by Kentaro Miura
    The monsters are unique and top-notch, and show how to do monsters right. Also the writing is amazing. I want this campaign's monsters to emulate the ones in Berserk.
  • KonoSuba: God's Blessing On This Beautiful World! by Natsume Akatsuki 
    See, I'm not a complete edge-lord (I am however guilty of being a huge weeb). Konosuba is pure comedy and I would love to use classic fantasy tropes as a source of comic relief in this campaign. Also making the BBE an isekai'd character. lol
  • Adventure Time
    I love everything about Adventure Time and have good memories of watching new episodes with my son. Hopefully I can pull on some of the players heartstrings just like the show yanked on mine.
  • City State Of The Invincible Overlord by Judges Guild
    While it's a little more "high fantasy" than I like, I love how it feels like a real breathing city. Hopefully I can get my city state to be a quarter as good as it.
  • Dorohedoro by Q Hayashida More inspiration for the City State. I want my slums district to be similar to The Hole in Dorohedoro. Also the satanic imagery in the manga is just awesome. 

I'll be posting these each week on Sunday until the challenge is complete. Stay tuned next week for Week 2!

Saturday, May 2, 2020



A white domino mask with elaborate gold and black inlays carved around the eyes. Black laces made of silk hang from the mask’s eyes like tears. It changes from pale white to blood red once activated. Said to be possessed by the spirit of a dancer murdered by an obsessive fan.

What's It Do?
When the command word (TERPSICHORA!) is spoken the mask removes the wearer's subconscious strength limiters allowing them to fight at peak performance at the cost of damage to their body. The wearer's STR & DEX score becomes 18 (+3) and they fight as a Fighter twice their level for the duration of the ability. However the human body has limiters to protect itself, each round the ability is used the wearer's muscles become shredded & their bones riddled with hairline fractures causing 1d2 points of temporarily CON damage. The wearer may end the ability early before combat ends by asserting their will and passing a save vs magic. A failure means the wearer will fight until combat ends regardless of any CON damage received.

Updated the Body Over Mind Spells here btw.

Additionally if the wearer's HP or CON is reduced to 0 or less the user’s body (corpse) rises and eloquently fights unarmed as a Fighter twice their level with their STR & DEX becoming 20 (+5). The body fights (anyone, including allies) for 1d4 plus level rounds or until the body takes damage equal to 8 plus level.


My favorite video game of all time is The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask. One of the things the game tasks you to do is collect an assortment of weird masks scattered throughout the world map. All the masks are unique and have different properties and abilities. Now I tend to throw in weird magical masks in my games as an homage to Majora's Mask. This particular mask's ability is from the anime/manga Hunter x Hunter and was used by the sinister royal guard Pitou.
Anime and manga are a gold mine for RPGS btw.

Like this magic item? Let me know in the comments and definitely let me know if you throw it in your games.

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Body Over Mind, Limiter Release

I wrote these homebrew spells for LotFP based on the stories of people using superhuman strength in times of duress.

Body Over Mind I
Magic-User Level 1
Range: Touch
Duration: 1 Round per level
This spell removes a person’s subconscious strength limiters allowing them to temporarily fight at peak performance at a cost of damage to their body. The target of this spell’s STR & DEX score becomes 18 (+3) and they fight as a Fighter twice their level for the duration of the ability. However the human body has limiters to protect itself, each round the ability is used the wearer's muscles become shredded & their bones riddled with hairline fractures causing 1d2 points of temporarily CON damage.

Body Over Mind II
Magic-User Level 2
Range: Touch
Duration: 1 Round per level
This spell removes a person’s subconscious strength limiters allowing them to temporarily fight at peak performance at a cost of damage to their body. The target of this spell’s STR & DEX score becomes 19 (+4) and they fight as a Fighter twice their level for the duration of the ability. However the human body has limiters to protect itself, each round the ability is used the wearer's muscles become shredded & their bones riddled with hairline fractures causing 1d2 points of temporarily CON damage.

Body Over Mind III
Magic-User Level 3
Range: Touch
Duration: 1 Round per level
This spell removes a person’s subconscious strength limiters allowing them to temporarily fight at peak performance at a cost of damage to their body. The target of this spell’s STR & DEX score becomes 20 (+5) and they fight as a Fighter twice their level for the duration of the ability. However the human body has limiters to protect itself, each round the ability is used the wearer's muscles become shredded & their bones riddled with hairline fractures causing 1d2 points of temporarily CON damage.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

LotFP Equipment Kits

Happy Easter/Bunny Day!

I made some Equipment Kits for my players since they're lazy as shit when it comes to buying equipment...

Check'em out here.

Probably some mistakes but it should be usable.

Sunday, February 23, 2020


The following are some alternative ways I want to try out in my home LotFP game. I already use Session Attendance & Carousing but I want to try the others.


Let’s face it life gets in the way of gaming. If you take the time to come hang out with me I’m gonna give your character a bonus. Simple as that.


+100xp per previous dead character (capped at 2nd level)
For each character you’ve had die this campaign your next character gains +100xp for each, up to 2nd level. Better keep track! Idea from Bernie the Flumph.


+1xp per 1sp spent (see description)
Characters are going to die but all that precious XP needn't go to waste. As long as you have the deceased character’s body (or piece of it) or a memento (the family sword for example) you may hold a funeral for them once you are back at civilization.
Each silver piece spent on the funeral allows you to buy back the deceased character’s XP at 1:1 ratio. The XP can only be bought back during the first funeral, no double dipping. Idea from TenFootPolemic.


+50xp x level for each time your HP dropped below 0 or you almost died (Ref discretion). Almost dying changes a person, in this case for the better.


+100xp for surviving an encounter with the Weird or Supernatural (Ref discretion).
This one is heavily dependent on your game. If you’re playing a typical elf or a gonzo themed game then this probably won’t be relevant.. However if you’re playing LotFP using the default 17th century Earth then seeing a monster and living is a big deal. This represents that.

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Transylvanian Encounters


I've been neglecting the blog but unfortunately life has once again gotten in the way of gaming. The day job and side job (I freelance for LotFP now btw) have been keeping me very busy as well as the normal stuff at home. My gaming group's holiday hiatus ended and one of my players wants to run 5e for a bit before we go back to me running the ol love LotFP. BUT ANYWAYS I wrote a random encounter table for my future continuation of Transylvania Nights (my discord LotFP campaign). I wrote this because I was heavily inspired by Bernie the Flumph's Bleak European Encounters found here and wanted my own for Transylvania.

Check out the link below and let me know what you think:

Transylvanian Encounters

Sunday, December 15, 2019

I Eat The Elf (A Holiday Table)

North Pole Elf
AC 13(+1 DEX), Move 120′, HD 1, HP 1, Pinch Cheeks 1d4, Morale 10.
Elf Tricks; A North Pole Elf can use their dirty elf magic(psionics) to perform various minor parlor tricks.

After crash landing in the North Pole over 200 years ago, the REDACTED were on the verge of death when Santa Claus found them and brought them back to the Claus Estate to recuperate. The REDACTED were forever grateful and vowed to repay Santa by working in his toy factory. They now call themselves the Elfs as their native name is unpronounceable without 2 tongues and a squeedlyspooch. There are currently 33 "elfs" at the Claus Estate.

So, I hate elves. I just don't think their cool or interesting or anything. They suck. And so with my hatred of Elves/Elfs, I present what happens when you consume a North Pole Elf! Happy Holidays!

As you swallow/snort/smoke/inject/etc the elf you feel a warmth flow throughout your body and...
  1. You explode into a fine red mist that blows away in the wind. Yes, you just died. Fuck elfs am I right?
  2. The Elf's DNA sequences itself onto your pathetic human strands. You slowly and painfully become a elf (with the above stats) over the course of 1d6+1 days. You retain the memories of your human life.
  3. Your brain grows to twice its size. Your skull and neck muscles also grow to house the weight. Your INT becomes 18 or 20 if it was already 18. 
  4. You gain a random psionic power, pull out that Dark Sun book. 
  5. All your teeth fall out and are replaced by hair like bristles like a baleen whale.
  6. You glow in the dark at night, with all the penalties/bonuses that come with that.
  7. Your left hand painfully becomes a weird skin claw thing. You do gain a 1d4 pinch attack, that's kinda cool?
  8. You become immune to all human diseases thanks to the elf's super immune system. The downside is you have to orally expel all the bile build up randomly every 1d4 days. The vomiting takes a turn. 
  9. You no longer age thanks to the elf's ability to repair decayed DNA. However after 100 years you explode into a fine red mist. Why? Because fuck elfs that's why. 
  10. You gain a squeedlyspooch, idk what it does but you have it. 

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Magic Missile

Magic Missile, usually the first offensive spell a budding Magic-User adds to their grimoire. There’s a reason for this. Unlike glamors and charms, casting a spell with the intent to cause harm takes an unwell mindset and costs a sliver of humanity.

The Missile's Form

Every Magic Missile is a combination of past traumas, personal biases and environmental stimuli.

Roll a d20 to determine what your missile looks like.
Your chanting ceases and you point your finger at your foe. A glowing light coalesces before taking the form of…

  1. Your mother’s severed head, freshly cut and sobbing.
  2. A black serpentine creature with a thousand insectoid legs that crawls across air.
  3. A single jaundiced eye that frantically looks at its surroundings.
  4. A thorned rose stem, sans bud.
  5. A human rib riddled with teeth marks.
  6. A snarling and barking black dog head with glowing red eyes.
  7. A cancerous hunk of flesh with hair and teeth jutting out.
  8. A still beating heart that pours out coagulated blood with each slow pump.
  9. An arrow carved from charred wood with a rusted iron head.
  10. An unnaturally black hole that pulsates in time with your breath.
  11. A circular saw fashioned from fish bones.
  12. Iron nails twisted together to form a cross.
  13. A chain of intertwined wedding rings with a fishing hook at the end.
  14. A knife fashioned out of pages torn from the bible.
  15. A ball of murky brackish water with a shadowed fish swimming inside.
  16. A large iron key with eight fluttering moth wings.
  17. An infant sized horsefly with a curled human finger at the end of each of its legs.
  18. An amniotic sack with a lamb fetus twitching and squirming inside.
  19. An egg made of obsidian with cracks filled with liquid amber.
  20. A phallic stone object with a needle at the tip.

Don't’ like the edge? Try these hyper animesque missiles instead. (I’m a huge weeb lol)
  1. A clock face with the hands slowly ticking towards midnight.
  2. A spiral of cherry blossom petals.
  3. A heart made of entwined tree twigs.
  4. The spirit of your childhood animal.
  5. A spear shaped icicle.
  6. A javelin made of white hot fire.
  7. A mocking Jack O’ Lantern.
  8. A ball of sparkling glitter.
  9. A fist made of stone.
  10. A cat claw made of gold.

Saturday, October 19, 2019

The Thing Under The Bed (Halloween Monster)

The Thing Under The Bed 
Armor 14, Move 120′, HD 3, HP 15, Psychic Attack 1d8, Morale 10. Special: Dragged Under
Save vs Paralyzation or be dragged under the bed. See Description.

*This monster only pops up on your random encounter tables during October.

Next time one of your characters(lowest CHA or the player who's the most cautious) tries to cuddle up in bed (favorite inn, property, etc) alone they will get an overwhelming feeling that something is under the bed. If the character gets out of bed, nothing stops them. If they check under the bed, nothings there. If they leave the room nothing happens and the encounters ends. BUT if they ignore that strange feeling and try to go to sleep then The Thing Under The Bed will pay a visit. 
The Thing will wait until the character is fast asleep to strike (Save vs. Paralyzation at -2) and try to drag the character under the bed with supernatural strength. If the character failed their save they are dragged under the bed. If they succeed they manage to fend off the attacker and may roll initiative.

Under the Bed

Characters who are successfully dragged under the bed are pitched into a cold desert-like plane of existence shrouded in total darkness. This realm is the Thing's digestive system and if feeds on fear and misery. The character is stuck here for 1d6+1 days. If the character survives the starvation and dehydration checks then they are spit out from under the bed unharmed save for being exhausted, starving and dehydrated X turns later where X is the number of days spent under the bed.

The Thing Under The Bed takes the form of whatever the character's player's worst nightmare is. That means doing some homework on your players.If the Thing fails it's morale check it will attempt to flee under the bed. If successful it disappears never to be seen again, or will it?
Happy Spooktober!

Blog Update:
Still working on that zine. Turns out decent writing is hella time consuming. lol

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Wake Me When September Ends

Alright I'm going to be taking this month to finally finish writing my LotFP fanzine. So no new articles this month except for Recaps or if I really gotta get something out of my head.

As for the zine I'm gonna be using only Google docs to write it. Them I'm gonna go old school and print, copy and paste that shit together for the layout. lol I may or may not have a print version. I'll probably have one my players do the art for me. But yeah that's whats happening this month.
Finally I'm gonna get this thing done.